Why I didn’t run on Monday….

Weeks ago we signed up ourselves AND the kids to run the Gasparilla 5K this Saturday.  Our son expressed a desire to earn an actual “metal medal” – not one of those (nice) rubberized “medallions” that they tend to give out to kids race finishers.  So we thought it would be something exciting to do as a family.  (Yeah – it will be exciting to try not to lose the kids in the crowd….I’m trying not to worry about how to keep them by our side for 3.1 miles….)  Anyway – the need to run this week was all consuming…..cause I need to get the mileage under my feet.

Yet – at 1pm on Sunday, my dreams of running on Monday morning went up in smoke when I took my son’s temperature.  A temp of 100 degrees plus the sore throat is a well known sign of strep in our house…strep germs seem to love our kids….I do not return such affection to the strep germs.

So I thought – maybe I can squeeze in a quick run to school with daughter while hubby watched son before going to work.

  • Which would have been possible had I not discovered fleas on the (*&#$(& cat on Sunday night.
  • Which meant I had to plan to spend time on Monday killing fleas and itching myself…
  • Which meant that my run became a car dash to school to then get to Walmart to get flea killing equipment…
  • Which commenced with me wrangling the cat and sequestering her in the bathroom…
  • Which resulted in me being covered in cat hair…
  • Which reminded me that I’d be doing mounds of laundry all day…
  • Which I chose to ignore while I read the directions on the spray bottle for killing fleas on furniture…
  • Which meant that poor sick kid and I moved furniture in the living room to maximize spray coverage for the cat’s favorite spots…
  • Which prompted a call to a friend about the spray….
  • Which meant I started spraying while talking to friend and quickly realized that the smell was overwhelming…
  • Which meant I hung up phone and yelled at poor sick kid to throw on clothes and get outside…
  • Which meant I went crazy and sprayed every spot I could think of….
  • Which meant I was trying not to vomit….
  • Which I succeed at while I gathered purse and homework for sick kid…
  • Which resulted in poor sick kid and I driving off to McDonald’s in an attempt to avoid the fumes….
  • Which meant a rather fun hour or so of eating in the car (remember the cat hair clothes?) and doing vocab and multiplication tables…
  • Which I could not stretch out all day….as I had to get back to the darn fleas…
  • Which were still on the cat when we got home…
  • Which prompted me to start the bath of the cat who hates baths….
  • Which meant poor sick kid was on “cat-catcher” duty at the door of the bathroom….
  • Which was unnecessary cause she was too miserable to jump…
  • Which was not true of the fleas who still jumped….
  • Which meant I remembered that I forgot a flea comb….
  • Which meant I called friend again and asked her to bring one to the door….
  • Which poor sick kid got from her as I was still holding the cat….
  • Which surprised me that she endured about 1/2 hour of combing (and drowning of fleas)…
  • Which lasted too long and I realized I needed to go fetch daughter at school…
  • Which prompted me to leave cat in bathroom while I made poor sick kid strip his clothes and go change and then I threw my clothes in the laundry room with his….
  • Which then lead to a quick dash to the shower for me….
  • At which time I saw a flea jump in my bra…
  • Which made me scream…..and scratch myself even more than I already was….
  • Which made my son run scurrying for the spray bottle….
  • Which he finally found…..and I used to spray my bathroom….
  • Which meant I was choking on the smell….
  • Which meant I sent son outside to car while I just figured I’d spray my whole room again….
  • Which meant I took my time getting home with daughter as I knew we had to wait for spray to dissipate…
  • Which meant it was a while before I got back to the bathroom to check on pissed-off cat….
  • Which meant that when I finally opened the bathroom to let her out….all of the $&(*#@(&* flying ants (which I know are not termites) had come back in our bathroom….
  • Which freaked me out…
  • And eventually led to me crying hysterically on my husband’s shoulder when he came home….
  • Which reminded me that we have two other fur balls in the house (yes the rats)…
  • Which meant that we tried to flea comb the rats at 9 pm….
  • Which meant that I was totally justified in collapsing at 9:15pm….and arguing that if the fish get any medical problems – I’m just going to flush the whole lot of them and be done with it….
  • Which means I’m totally going to suggest we rid ourselves of pets and only get taxidermied animals like The Bloggess does….
  • And THAT is my excuse for why I didn’t run on Monday……what’s yours????

 

1 thought on “Why I didn’t run on Monday….

  1. Poor Jenn, what can I say other then you write extremely well and should have been either a comedian or writer. I feel for you because I remember the time that you came home with lice in Middle school and we had to de-lice the house, bedding, pillows, hair ribbons and everything else in the house. So I feel your pain. I think you gave up worrying for Lent. HOw is that going? I love you my beautiful daughter and I will worry for you now. Mom

Comments are closed.